Att….ention.

So a guy friend of mine yesterday was educating me a lil’ bit on how the male mind works. Apparently there is something called “point of entry”…loosely explained this means what strategy a guy will use to hook/get a chic.

A little background…..this was brought up by a conversation about a mutual friend, who’s head is getting all confused by a certain dude she just met. So when they first met, it was in an office,business kinda setting, and this chic had no idea the guy had seen visions of the future. the 2nd time they met, it was  still very businesslike, to,according to the guy,”get a good feel about how the two could do biz effectively”…. by the end of that date, the guy had offered to give the chic some basic accounting lessons….so naturally there was going to be a third meet……well, its almost 10 dates now and the mama has only gotten 3 lessons, and in the process is going crazy about the guy.

For all those who are bila the news as i was, this is how it works….a guy sees you, he like’s what he sees and what he’s heard, so he want’s to get to know u better. But since those lines of  “have we met before” or “u look familiar” or the ones that make u roll your eyes to eternity like this one “Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you” are so last century….guys now have to do a little bit more work. Homework-find out what makes a chic tick, her interests, what gets  her all excited…and for the non-blondes out there what stimulates her mind-intellectually of course.

So according to this guru friend of mine, two or three things are enough and the guy is now set to go fishing….dropping lines on what he’s found out. if the mama is into business,then show her how business minded you are , if she likes cars….talk her ears out about the latest models…she’s really fascinated by French, then dude invest in an English-French dictionary.

But the most hilarious thing about this is that the guy (half of the time) is zero interested in what the mama is interested in, so before he goes and starts dropping the lines, dude is forced to burn the midnight oil doing a lot of  homework and extra tuition so that he can dazzle this chic with all the French phrases, business terms and car features, he knows and which he would otherwise not have cared crap about.

As much as i would have liked to disagree with my friend,just so that i could win the argument, i had to agree (grudgingly) that it does work, at least 99% of the time. ….and before she knows it the girl,has taken the bait,hook line and sinker…..ameshaingia box na ikawekwa padlock…and as T put it-by the time she finds out that dude din’t know crap about what he was talking about, it won’t matter coz chic has already fallen hard for the guy.

Just goes to show….women are suckers for attention….give us that and you are halfway over the bridge.

TIRED OF ALL THE ADVICE

I think i have been out of the dating scene for far too long and its become a murky,confusing world to me. What is acceptable,and at what time, what are the dont’s  and what to do when i find that i have innocently done the unacceptable.

I was browsing websites on dating advice today and waah!!! those do’s and dont’s are too too many. Don’t let him see you are too interested in him coz he’ll think you are easy. Act aloof and un-interested at times, keep him confused, that will draw him even more to you. Be happy, apparently guys are attracted to happy gals…who knew?!

what happened to the simple days when we didn’t have to do all these intricate dances, when,yes,we acted hard to get,but not to the ridiculous heights i read on these “advice” websites.

If i like a guy, i want to be able to at least show it a little, let him hold my hand for at least a minute and even let him steal a little peck at the end of a wonderful date.

But now these websites, written by so called dating/relationship “experts” are “advising” me to set a date, and cancel it not once, not twice but severally…apparently this keeps the man on his toes and at my heels…oh yeah, and shows am not easy.

I should also prey on his insecurities, on his unattained youth full dreams,  create a mysterious aura around me, surround myself with other men, and at times be a little cruel (it clashes with my innocent look) and all these are supposed to get and keep the man interested in me.

Honestly, am tired of all these games…..just the idea of trying to keep up the facade exhausts me….besides i managed to bag and keep my ex boyfriend for 6 years without using any of this advice…..so i will fall back on my time tested and 100% assured plan….be myself, enjoy the guy and if it’s meant to be,it will happen….if it’s not, well the next guy is just around the corner and it was really nyce meeting you.

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Forgotten…..Almost

i’ve forgotten how it feels to love and to be in love and am not sure whether i should be scared or not. This realization hit me as i was going through a friend’s photos on Face Book, pix of several happily-in-love couples on an outing somewhere, and no matter how much i tried i couldn’t remember that feeling, couldn’t awaken it….how it feels to be head over heels in love.

I think every girl dreams of falling headily in love with the man of her dreams (or as close as she can get) and living happily ever after thereafter. i still have those dreams,only thing is i can never see the thereafter,all i see is blinding darkness. it’s as if all the tears and pain of lost love permanently erased that part of my future…..or maybe I’ve just turned into a pessimist or is it realist.

I want to believe that there will be a long happily ever after, i want to continue building castles in the air, to continue dreaming heady lofty dreams…i want to find that girl again. the carefree girl, unblemished by the tears and the hurt, unchanged by the anger….that innocent girl that still believes that dreams do come true…..i need to find me.